RANT

Watching these home makeover TV shows, I gotta ask: WTF is the matter with parents these days? Spending thousands and thousands of dollars to rip out walls so that they can have "open concept" interiors "Because if I'm in the kitchen, I can't see the kids and see if they're alright."

My parent knew where the 4 of us were and what we were doing at breakfast, lunch, supper, and bedtime. All 4 of us lived through entire childhoods with all biological parts and functions intact, and we also all turned out fine. Not a serial killer among us.

Sorry, "Helicopters," but what kind of independent thinkers and what coping mechanisms are your crotch-fruit developing if they never have to take risks, learn, interface with hard things in life, because ... "Why? Mommy n Daddy are right over there. They'll take care of it."

SMDH

And while I'm at it ...

"Waah. I can't work in this antique kitchen!" Said about a kitchen that is bigger and more equipped than some of the restaurants I worked in."

"Waaah. We're out of space. I can't live like this ... only 2500 sq ft.!" I considered my 2100 sq ft. house a fokking mansion. Then the little 30-something shits go look at 3500 sq ft houses but they're no good because "there's no real media room" or "no nice office space" or (really) "no place to fold clothes in the laundry room. I wanna move somewhere nicer."

"Waah. We can't breathe in here when we entertain!" (Then the producer shows a clip of like 60 people crowded into the house in question, for some sort of party.) So, you little shits, you're going to go buy a new place, paying all of the related closing costs, packing everything up, moving, unpacking, changing all of the utilities, address on everything, new school registrations, and probably commute for an hour, instead of 15 minutes, so you can have a fokking party with more elbow-room, those two times a year when it's your turn to host?

"Waaaah. When everyone comes over for Christmas, we can't all fit around this little dining room table." You fatheads don't even have table settings for 12 as a mix-n-match. Will it kill the kids to sit at card tables and folding chairs? No. As a matter of fact, they LOVE having their own space without you side-eyeing them all through the meal because they're not holding their fokking fork the way you think is "proper." You're probably a crap-cook anyway. Rent out a private room at the steakhouse where the food will be palatable and you can seat 12 or 20 and keep the kids unhappy.

And a biggie: "Waah! I'm finished with this house. There's no 'en suite' in the master bedroom and that stinking little bathroom across the hall only has one sink. I can't possibly get ready in the morning with one sink. And, have you seen the old cramped shower? We have to have a luxe 'en suite' or I quit." Don't get me cranked up on this one.

Lastly, where do these little shits get the money to afford these places? Some whiny loser with a whiny wife says, "And our budget is not a penny over $2.5 million." WUT?!?

The beatings will commence at noon, right over there.