Toll Road Followup

Award:

She's out there. La gran estúpida.

This really happened, this week:

Coming south, through the West Little York Toll Plaza, I'm in the Easy Tag Only lane and the usual morons are tying up traffic as they get into the Tag Only lane and then discover (or is it "discover" since I suspect that a lot of this is intentional) that they are in the wrong lane ... and they have to then block everyone while they try to nudge their way into one of the adjacent cash lanes.

So this woman in front of me, with an Easy Tag plainly visible on her windshield, begins to roll smartly along with the traffic as the morons clear away from in front of us.

She gets up to the Easy Tag reader and STOPS!?! (whereupon, I almost rear-ended her; and the guy behind me almost rear-ended me; and the guy behind him ... ad infinitum)

No horn from me, because I'm a REFORMED Road Rage Psychopath and every person has the right to drive safely and with the level of conservatism to which they are comfortable (gack! I want to retch every time I parrot those "good driver" platitudes.)

Away she crept from her stop at the reader. The toll gate went up (don't get me started -- yes, the damn things are back) she rolled up even with the gate and SHE STOPPED AGAIN.!! That ripped it.

She got the horn. I almost got rear-ended, again, and the other good drivers went wild with their horns.

She got moving, so out we all roll. I passed her and looked over to lay my most evil, rotten, "You're sooooo stupid!" dirty look on her but she won't look my direction. Ms. Gotta-stop has the pedal to the metal and is going to break the speed laws. On a mission.

Yeah, genius, stop twice in the toll gate but then get out there and drive 80 miles an hour while everyone else is doing 65-75. Makes perfect sense -- NOT.

That's O.K., I'll probably pass her in the next tool plaza after she stops suddenly, again, and causes a 37 car pileup. I'll save my "look" for then.

IRRITANTS UPDATE!

Just in case you thought I was kiddng about insanely irritating and stupid Automatic Attendant Answering Machines:

281-820-5410

This has to be one of the "best" I've heard in a long time. If you listen to it, imagine that you are a new customer, with a $700.00 order (which I was) and you need the parts urgently.

Oh, yeah.

Irritants

Do companies ever think to call themselves and listen to their automated attendant systems? Do they ever pretend that they are outsiders or first time customers? Do they have a clue how maddening and/or downright STUPID their systems are?

Today, I had one that droned on with:

"This is the xxxxx corporation automatic operator." Really? I couldn't tell. The crappy simu-voice really had me fooled.

"If you know your party's extension, you may dial it at any time." No kidding? Ya think that if I know somebody's extension that I've probably had quite a bit of contact with your company and probably had to listen to your stupid messages so many times that I either know that I can dial an extension right away or I've memorized the "press or say" numbers to every department? Now you've wasted your potential new customer's time with a stupid, meaningless admission that you're too cheap to hire a phone receptionist and that they can go ahead and dial extensions if they know them. They don't. Don't ask.

"For a list of employees' extensions, using their last names, press or say 2." I don't know anybody's name at your damn company, ya dolt. Why do I want to be put through all of this before I find out how to get a price or to place an order?

Today, one of these technological marvels plodded on through choices 1 - 7, telling me the single digit button to push to access every department in the business EXCEPT sales! Finally, the machine after a notable pause said, "For other assistance (?!?) press zero."

Thanks.