Wednesday, April 16, 2008


Do companies ever think to call themselves and listen to their automated attendant systems? Do they ever pretend that they are outsiders or first time customers? Do they have a clue how maddening and/or downright STUPID their systems are?

Today, I had one that droned on with:

"This is the xxxxx corporation automatic operator." Really? I couldn't tell. The crappy simu-voice really had me fooled.

"If you know your party's extension, you may dial it at any time." No kidding? Ya think that if I know somebody's extension that I've probably had quite a bit of contact with your company and probably had to listen to your stupid messages so many times that I either know that I can dial an extension right away or I've memorized the "press or say" numbers to every department? Now you've wasted your potential new customer's time with a stupid, meaningless admission that you're too cheap to hire a phone receptionist and that they can go ahead and dial extensions if they know them. They don't. Don't ask.

"For a list of employees' extensions, using their last names, press or say 2." I don't know anybody's name at your damn company, ya dolt. Why do I want to be put through all of this before I find out how to get a price or to place an order?

Today, one of these technological marvels plodded on through choices 1 - 7, telling me the single digit button to push to access every department in the business EXCEPT sales! Finally, the machine after a notable pause said, "For other assistance (?!?) press zero."


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